I did not embark on the chase for any of those reasons - I just thought it looked like hard thing to do, and I was in a place where doing hard things was time well spent. It required every ounce of my mind and spirit to outrun ghosts, make discoveries, join the living, find the world.
That was only the very fitting environment to serve as capstone. And I don't mean the cold, rainy race day. It was a mechanism through which I came to understand myself, my world, my potential. That first Ironman for me - and go ahead, start at the beginning if you like - my mother called it my Vision Quest. I was only just emerging into a time of enlightenment in my life, after spending many years in a sort of haze and darkness. When this blog began way back in 2006, and when I first had the outlandish, ridiculous idea of training for an Ironman race in 2004, things were different. It can live in my head, but it wasn't yet living in my heart. More than just an idea or purposeful thought. I don't know how to explain it, really, other than to call it a switch. But I wasn't invested yet in becoming Ironman again. But much more than that, the switch wasn't on. I had toyed, a year ago, with the idea of doing Ironman again in 2012, but it's been one thing after another this year, making those plans unfeasible. I've charted a course to Ironman again for 2013.
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